Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Life With Baby

Jaina has thoroughly entrenched herself in our hearts. I can't imagine life without her now and marvel at the strength of love I feel for her. She is every bit mine as Alina and Briana. The only difference is that I did not give birth to her. When I hold her and breathe in her soft baby scent, I wish I could drink her in. Her skin is so soft and she is so precious. I can't believe she is finally a part of my family. I can't thank God enough for this beautiful blessing and I hope that I am always worthy of her.

Jaina is very aware of her surroundings. She likes to look at objects and point to them and I tell her what their names are. I can see that even though she can't say any words yet, she is working out sounds. She understands that different things are used for different purposes. She fished out her bib from her diaper bag once and held it up to her chin. Then she went looking for her bottle. Already she is communicating her needs. "Da, da, da" are her main sounds, but she also makes "t" sounds when she points at some objects. She tried the "j" sound and then pointed to herself. She now turns her head when she hears someone call her name. I am tickled that she knows her name!

Briana is having a rough time not being the baby anymore. Though she showers Jaina with hugs and kisses, the rest of the family bears the brunt of her anger and frustration. I know she is jealous and she understands it but, of course, lacks the maturity to express her feelings. This, too, shall pass. I am looking forward to Ed being off so I can spend some one-on-one time with her. Briana needs to know that we love her just the same as always and I try to make her understand that, but I think she just needs some time to work through it herself. I love my three girls and even though life has gotten a little more complicated, I wouldn't give it up for anything.

Jaina has erratic sleep patterns right now. Sometimes she sleeps through the night and others she is up constantly--like last night. I go to her when she cries, but most times she just needs to get herself back to sleep. It seems like she gets agitated, but she is still not quite awake. If she is completely awake, she screams herself silly and that's when I run in before she wakes up the entire household. Last night I made her a bottle and by the time I made it back, she had fallen asleep. Her days follow a daily routine and I know the benefits of a schedule make her feel safe. When she is at home with us she is much more vocal, babbling and scooting her way into trouble. Since visiting the gym has become impossible for the moment, my work out regiments include chasing her around the house, carrying her up the stairs 10 times a day, or walking her around town in the stroller. I am constantly tired, but that's the life of a new mom. Luckily, I have a great 10 year old daughter to help out when I need a breather.

Jaina is also trying to crawl, but mostly, winds up on her belly. A friend calls it the wounded soldier crawl. Jaina will bring one knee up and propels herself forward on her belly. She gets around most anywhere this way, but continues to take steps only when her two hands are being held. I try to get her to walk holding only one hand, but she won't go for it yet. Whatever she accomplishes will be on her own terms and when she is ready. The best thing is watching her grow. She is eating well and gaining weight rapidly. She is beginning to look like a chubby American baby. Her doctors are pleased to see that she is thriving and, on this note, I complete my final post.

It has been an absolute pleasure keeping this blog. I never thought I would have so much fun keeping it going, but Jaina is home and we are ready to raise her "out of the public eye". I hope that my blog has been helpful to waiting adoptive parents or even helped someone consider adoption for the first time. It is truly an amazing journey.

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