Group Shot & Red Couch Photo Enlarged

For those traveling to China...

During our 2 1/2 year wait for Jaina I voraciously read anything I could get my hands on that dealt with adoption. When the time came to travel, however, only those who had gone before me to adopt their children could answer my traveling questions. Therefore, I thought I would add a post for adoptive parents who are preparing to leave for China in the near future. I recommend taking anibiotics, just in case, for stomach ailments. The Chinese boil their faucet water before drinking. Luckily, none of us got sick, though occasionally my stomach did feel queasy. We stayed away from salad because it tends to be rinsed with faucet water. We never ordered drinks with ice in them and opted to order soft drinks. I hated giving my kids soda since we seldom consume them at home, but sometimes they got tired of drinking bottled water all day long. Our hotel provided us with a plug in tea kettle and it boiled water within minutes. 

Take children's ibuprophen and any other over-the-counter drug or prescription medication you think you might need. You don't want to have to purchase medicine when the directions are in Chinese. 

I recommend packing light, although your adoption agency will give you a list of things to take with you. Use your judgement on what you may think you'll need. You can get baby stuff of all kinds in China, so take only what you don't want to repurchase. We opted for taking a baby carrier instead of a stroller and it worked great. Many people who were curious asked us about it since it doesn't seem to be available in Guangzhou. Baby slings are also great, as well as Baby Bjorn carriers. If strollers are your preference, however, I would buy one there instead of bringing it all the way from home. They get beat up at the airports. 

 Most adoption trips last about 12-15 days so take about a week and a half worth of clothing, but take extra undergarments. Just about every shopkeeper in Shamian Island will take your clothes in for laundry and at much cheaper prices than what hotels charge. Just be prepared for stiff changes, as dryers do not exist in China. Just about every apartment high rise had laundry hanging from their balconies.

If you have other children and they are traveling with you, I recommend a DVD player. We had plenty of downtime when there weren't any adoption activities going on and the heat kept us indoors. Our electronics worked well because we decided to borrow a voltage adapter from the hotel rather than bring our own. I hear that the ones brought from home just don't work and you'll be saving some money by going this route. 

 The most important decision you'll need to make are hotel accomodations. Many adoptive parents are now opting to stay at the Victory Hotel rather than the White Swan because it is much cheaper and the rooms are much larger. The Victory has two buildings, the main building (East Bldg.) and the Annex (West Bldg). We opted for the West building and were very happy with our room. It was a business room, equipped with two double beds, a small refrigerator, computer, in room safe and a small, separate sitting area. Our baby's crib fit perfectly in this space. The Victory also offers a superb western style buffet breakfast. Eggs were made to order any way you like it and each day there was a different variety of fruit juices. Tea is the main beverage and is served at every meal--anytime. Sorry, no coffee at the buffet. There was congee for the babies, assorted sweet and plain breads, fruit of all kinds, ham, sausages and a variety of Chinese dishes. Suprisingly, salad ingredients were also set out at breakfast. The best part was no lines, no waiting. All the White Swan adoptive parents spoke of having to wait in long lines for breakfast. We always found a table and ate immediately. The only thing that perplexed me was the lack of napkins. We were given facial tisssue to use as napkins and each table had a box. Many restaurants around town also offered boxes of tissues in lieu of napkins. I can only imagine it must be cost effective for them. 

Since we traveled in the summer we wanted to use the pool at our hotel, but its location on the rooftop was not a safe option for our children, so we decided to use the White Swan hotel's pool which overlooks the Pearl River. Now, we were told that it was open only to hotel guests, but when we asked at the pool cabana itself, we were told that we could swim for a fee of 100 yuan per person. That comes out to 15 dollars per person and doesn't cover you for the entire day. If you leave and come back, it's another 100 yuan. Babies also have to pay to "swim". Honestly, it's a racquet and the pool supervisor makes up the rules as he/she goes along, but there isn't much of a choice if you want your kids safe from the edge of a rooftop pool. The White Swan pool overlooks the Pearl River and the view is beautiful. 

There are a lot of great places to eat on Shamian Island. If you have picky eaters like mine, Lucy's, down the street from the White Swan Hotel, offers western style dishes as well as Asian favorites. Kids can eat grilled cheese and fries if nothing else appeals to them. There are also hamburgers, pasta, and a variety of Asian dishes like spring rolls, stir fry vegetables and rice. There is mashed potatoes or congee for baby, so the entire family is covered. Tipping is discouraged because a percentage is already added in the price of each dish. The atmosphere is very casual and offers indoor or outdoor dining, and the restaurant overlooks the Pearl River. La Dolce Vita is a pricier Italian restaurant around the corner from Lucy's, but much more elegant. The meals are delicious and it is the place to go for pizza. (Yes, there is a Papa John's, and a KFC, and a Pizza Hut, but none taste as they should.) I dined there twice and had a delicious ravioli with eggplant and ricotta cheese the first time and pizza the next. Drinks are where they get you, though. Soda cost about 5 dollars for a can. Our girls ordered apple juice and they got it in a fancy glass with some frothy stuff on top. It tasted like apple juice and they liked them so much they ordered two. The servers stand at attention and stay on hand in case you need them. It's unnerving having them around watching you eat, but after a while you just tune them out. The restaurant is decorated with large prints of scenes from its 1961 namesake, starring Marcello Mastroianni and Anita Eckberg. 

 For those wanting authentic Chinese food, there is a restaurant a few doors down from the 7 Eleven. The name was in Chinese so the only way to pinpoint it is by the large fish tanks as you walk in. There are two restaurants that fit this description just a door or two apart from each other, but the one you want is the one closest to the 7 Eleven. They don't speak much English and the menu is in Chinese, so go by the photos in the menu. They give you chopsticks to use, but if you need western utensils they are available. (I recommend learning to use chopsticks. When we visited our daughter's orphange, we had lunch at a local restaurant in her city. There were no forks to be had, so we had no choice but to use them or go hungry.) Most restaurants in Guangzhou have forks, but once you leave the city and enter the real China, chopsticks is what you get. 

For quicker meals the deli/bakery, conveniently called The Deli Shop, near the White Swan hotel, is the place to go. You can get a meal like Curry Chicken with rice or smaller ones like sandwiches and salads. You can also buy all kinds of yummy sweets. My favorite was the sweet bread with the peach slice on top. Yum! They also bake cakes--we ordered a cream cake for my daughter because she turned six in China and she loved it! They put some chocolate Hello Kitty figurines on top and she was in high heaven. Drinks and ice cream are also available. You can order their strange flavors. I had one with beans in it--not bad--or you can play it safe with Hagen Daas. 

There are several great places to shop in Guangzhou. Our tour guide took us to a department store called Grandbuy. There are over 7 floors, one housing a full size grocery store. You can buy anything you need from electronics, to cosmetics, to baby gear. Be careful with prices. Some things are not worth the prices they ask. We almost got sucked into buying a plastic baby bowl for 8 dollars! Take a handheld calculator with you wherever you go and convert the yuan into dollars before you decide to buy. There are also some must see shops in Shamian Island as well. A Gift from China is one of them. All merchandise is made by locals; some are grandmothers who could no longer provide an income for their families. They make handmade items to sell from purses, to handpainted art, to Chinese style outfits for American Girl Dolls. Clothing and accessories made of 100% silk are also available. They are online and purchases can be made from their website and shipped to your door. The shop opened in the 1990's and all proceeds made from sales go to help Chinese orphans. The store is located across from the old Polish embassy, near the park. 

I recommend not buying anything from streetside vendors. Most of the stuff is junk and won't last long. Many of the shopkeepers greet you because they want you to visit their shop. The more pressure they applied the more I stayed away. Jordon, store named after him, is the biggest harasser. Nice guy, but he tried too hard. We started avoiding his street after a while. Work hard to get the best deal in the shops. Much of the stuff they sell is not worth the prices they ask, so work them down. My youngest daughter asked for a keychain with an Olympic mascot on it. It was made of cheap plastic and probably wouldn't have lasted the trip. They were asking 6 dollars for it, so I told her to pick something else. Most will give you a discount if you buy more than one item, so stick to your guns. Be prepared to be followed around the store. If you set foot in any shop, you are fair game and they'll try to sell you anything. It's hard to browse in peace and their constant presence can be tiresome. A Gift from China is the only shop that does not do this, so they get extra points from me just for that. 

That's all I can think of. I will edit the post if I need to add anything else. Enjoy your trip, see the sights, take lots of pictures, and don't sweat the fish bowl. Cheers!

Out and About with Miss Jaina

We are finally home! We arrived Saturday morning at 2am and I worried Ed might fall asleep at the wheel after 24 hours of traveling, but we made it safe and sound.

As we checked out on the morning of the 25th, the clerk at the front desk of our hotel inquired as to the whereabouts of a plastic tissue box and an old, rusty bottle opener we had borrowed from housekeeping one night. It never ceases to amaze me what the Chinese find important. (I guess I might accidentally walk away with them and if I do, I know a charge might appear on my credit card for said articles.) I told them that the bottle opener was left in the room and the box of tissues was in the wall holder where it belonged. Funny, they have a wall holder and don't use it. I kept finding it out on the counter and I kept placing it in the wall, and they still couldn't find it. I hear things were the same at the White Swan hotel. If you accidentally take a towel from the pool area, you get charged for it. They keep track of everything.

On our last day I took more photographs of Shamian Island to remember the sights. I wonder if I will ever go back? I would like to but I know Ed is not much of a traveler. The girls refuse to make such a long trip again and who can blame them? The recovery time is about three days and we are almost there. But one day Jaina will want to visit her country of birth and I have to take her there. Maybe they will feel differently in a few years.

As we landed on U.S. soil, Jaina immediately became an American citizen. The girls clapped and she clapped along with them. Her papers were given to immigration and her Certificate of Citizenship will arrive in the mail in a few months. Little Jaina has got it made!

Our first excursion out with baby included a trip to the farmer's market. It was time to replenish our empty refrigerator. The girls bickered over who would push Jaina's stroller, so excited were they to show her off. I settled it by pushing it myself. Jaina promptly fell asleep as she seems to do whenever she is strapped into any kind of moving apparatus. The day was beautiful--the kind that is common this time of the year in this region. No more sweltering, humid weather. We were home and enjoying the dry, sunny day. We ran into friends, chatted and introduced her, as we did yesterday at mass as well.

Jaina is getting used to a daily routine now but our first day at home caused her some agitation. She went back to her sad cry from when she first came to us and I can only believe it was due to the big changes of being in new surroundings once again. She got quickly used to us and the hotel, but we couldn't stay there forever. Once again there was a new home and a new country and I am sure she was feeling the changes. Luckily, it didn't last very long and once again she is the happy baby that has blossomed in our care.

The first night we arrived Ed took Jaina around the house and gave her the tour. Then he showed her her crib, and seeing the excitement on his face as he did so tickled me. Jaina has grown very attached to Ed and that is good to see because we had heard that Chinese babies are often wary of male caregivers because they are not accustomed to having them around. Not so with Jaina. She latched on to him quickly and I can say that she has become a Daddy's girl. All of my girls are, but none more than she. If he walks away from her she cries unconsolably, even though she has three other people who are at her beck and call. Her tears are the size of marbles. Okay, I am jealous. All of this, however, is testament that she is bonding to us and we to her. She has ensnared us very quickly with her charm. She is funny and playful and her big sisters love her to pieces. I am thankful that she is with us and feel that our family is complete.

Packing Day

Our journey is almost at a close. When we first arrived it seemed like we would be here an eternity. Now it is almost over. Tomorrow we leave for the airport early in the morning to catch the AM flight to Beijing. Briana tells me that she is sad to leave the hotel room. She cracks me up. I am sad too. But the sadness I feel is due to the end of an adventure which brought us a very special gift. We will never forget our wonderful experiences here and will look back fondly to many of them--the Buddhist Temple, the Baiyun Gardens, visiting my daughters orphange, meeting her for the first time, and making new friends with people that have something very special in common. I will even remember the not-so-warm and fuzzy memories like crazy drivers, overzealous panhandlers, pushy shopkeepers and annoying, squeaky shoes. Don't ask!

The best memory will be watching Jaina tranform before our eyes. She is now a typical 13 month old baby. She squirms like the best of them, grabs anything within reach, flips herself in the bath tub to my utter dismay, smiles and coos easily and isn't shy to tell us when something is bothering her. I look at her and can't believe she is finally a part of our family. I can't express in words how full my heart is when I look at her and how I have already fallen madly in love with her. She is a joy and a comfort to hold and, when she looks for it in her Dad or me, I feel like we have truly become a family. All that is left now is to pack up and come home. The time has come to begin our new lives as a family of five.

This afternoon we went for our appointment with the U.S. consulate to receive Jaina's passport and visa to enter the country. Once we land on U.S. soil she becomes a US citizen. We swore an oath that all our paperwork was true, and that was that. The entire room erupted in cheers and applause. The adoption process was over and our children were ready to come home. A banner posted in the consulate read, "The U.S. Consulate would like to welcome adoptive parents. Congratulations!" It was a joyous day for so many adoptive parents and their accompanying families.

Tomorrow morning we begin the last leg of our journey: the flight home. What a great adventure it has been.
Jaina helps us pack!

Alina's Shots

After begging me to use the camera, I finally relented and let Alina take some of her own photographs of Guanzhou. The following belong to my budding photographer---they are of the Pearl River, Guangzhou.

More Sightseeing

A new tour guide has joined our group since adding two new families to our group. Lisa took us to Banyan Gardens, a beautiful attraction right in the city. The garden is built right into the side of a mountain and has a manmade lake at its base. Trees were cut into animal shapes, much like in our theme parks at home. The most interesting trees had had their trunks entertwined and cultivated to grow that way. A special showcase for the Olympics was created near the great fountain and many areas made beautiful photo opportunities. Our tour guide told us that each Olympic mascot's name represents a Chinese character that when put together spells, "Beijing Welcomes You". It is very clever! I think photographs will describe it best. Enjoy!

Reflections

I can't believe we leave China the day after tomorrow. Suprisingly I am sad about it, but I am looking forward to starting our lives with our new daughter. I miss home, my family and friends. I miss my daily routine and being among familiar surroundings. China is a beautiful country, but its true beauty lies in its people. I hear that the number of children born with birth defects has risen 40 percent since 2001. Pollution is the number one cause and I hope they can bring that under control and make it their number one priority. However, it is also a worldwide responsibility because the more we demand inexpensive goods, the harder China will work to meet those demands, at the expense of polluting their country. When the earthquake hit Sichuan Province the pandas were evacuated because their habitat was destroyed. A massive effort to protect their national mascot was put into place, but aren't the Chinese people more important than the panda bears?

The most promising thing is that the Chinese are hopeful and willing to help one another through this. Many people have expressed a desire to adopt children orphaned by the earthquake. Some couples whose children are grown also become prospective adoptive parents. Starting over is a big sacrifice but it is a wonderful thing to help an orphan by giving them the best gift of all--a family.

This morning Jaina woke up cooing and happy. Her Daddy got to her first, had her diaper changed and ready to start the day. When Jaina saw me she grinned from ear to ear. There are no words to express how much joy she brings to us and how glad I am that she is starting to thrive. She is a different baby from the one that was placed into our arms just a week and a half ago. She is playful and imitates everything we do. I love her smiles and her laughter most of all.

This and That

Yesterday we took Jaina to have her examination for travel. It is not ordered by the U.S. but by the Chinese government. The place was a madhouse, filled with screaming children and parents making converstation. I had to chuckle at the sign posted above us asking us all to keep quiet. I don't blame the kids for yelling bloody murder. Some of the nurses were scary. We had to go to three different stations. The first took Jaina's temperature and got her weight and measurements. The second looked down her throat and took notes and the third was a physical examination done by a doctor. The second station caused the most agitation to Jaina and myself.

When I entered her station, the nurse motioned for me to sit down. Because I didn't sit fast enough for her, she grabbed me by my arm and pulled me into the chair. I was appalled. Since I was still wearing the baby backpack I couldn't sit back with the baby in my arms, so I had Ed try to remove it for me. I leaned forward to have him pull it off and the nurse pushed my head back out of her way. She then proceeded to plunge a wooden stick so far down my baby's throat that she retched violently and immediately began to cry. I wish I could have told that scary nurse off, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference. Thankfully the doctor was much more civilised and spent a good amount of time with Jaina. Ed was very happy with the care she got.

We have seen big changes with Jaina. She makes eye contact with us now and is very attached. Seeing her lift her arms to be held gives me the most satisfaction. It has been a dramatic transformation from a quiet, unresponsive child to a happy, smiling, cooing baby who looks right into our eyes and reacts to everything around her. She is trying to scoot and does a smashing downward dog! She takes steps when I hold her hands, so I think it is a matter of time before she begins to walk. She is also comfortable enough to communicate when there is something that is bothering her. When she gets angry she will grab and pinch the nearest face, which earns her a quick reprimand. Our peanut is definitely a handful. 

 Yesterday we met the newest members of our group-- families from Florida, Michigan and Pennsylvania, the latter by way of Belgium and Great Britain. To get to know each other better, our tour guide took us all out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant nearby. When one goes out to eat, it is customary to bring out a bunch of dishes and set them on a laz-ysusan, that way everyone can enjoy a little of each dish and tea is served with each meal regardless. The challenge is having to use chopsticks but, at this particular restaurant, forks were provided. I made a good effort to use them as much as possible, but I notice that the left side of my wrist hurts a little from being unaccustomed. Alina is a pro at it and has been since watching an old woman using them at an Asian restaurant in Boston a few years ago. It never ceases to amaze me at how quickly children learn to do things.

We have gotten used to seeing certain things now. There are two large wedding boutiques on Shamian Island and photographers come out to take photos of the brides. The models are lovely and the dresses to die for. They get around the island on golf caddies and when the couples have to move to another spot, the bride lifts her skirts to keep from soiling the dress--but exposes her street clothes underneath. That settled a disagreement Ed and I had about the couples being genuine. I kept telling him they were models and he insisted they were real couples. I suppose the photographs are part advertisement for the boutiques, but I feel sorry for the models who have to wear such beautful gowns in this sweltering heat. It's very humid and it rains every afternoon. A couple of days ago we went out to eat at a deli shop by the White Swan Hotel and in a matter of minutes, a great wind had started which brought down a table umbrella tipping over the glass table with it.

We are almost done with all the paperwork needed to bring Jaina home. Monday morning our adoption facilitator had us fill out a ton of paperwork for our daughter's visa. While we talked shop, the dads took the kids to the Swan Room--a kid's indoor play area located in the White Swan Hotel lobby. I hear it had just been redone a week before our arrival and it was beautiful. It is an open space with wall-to-wall carpeting, a plasma TV with DVD player, and lot's of toys to keep the kid's busy. The hotel really caters to adopting parents and although there are many guests vacationing there, many of its guests are foreigners adopting babies.

I think the biggest impression that I will take with me from China is the warmth of its people and their great work ethic. Laziness is not tolerated in the Chinese culture and even the poorest find ways to earn a living. I see that from the numerous types of jobs people do even on bicycles-- from transporting propane tanks, to water jugs, to garbage pick up. I have seen crates tied in bundles and balanced several feet above the cyclist's head. If I catch another one on wheels before I leave I will try to get a photo. Guangzhou is a city of 10 million people but you will not find a single cigarette butt on the sidewalks, even though people do smoke. No nonsmoking section exists in restaurants. It may be an old, polluted industrial city but, ironically, the streets are clean.

Changes

I am now in a new room at the same hotel. Our first room unfortunately felt like our basement, musty and wet. We tried to move over to the White Swan but it wasn't possible, so we moved two stories higher to a warmer, sunnier room. No more moldy smells and my clothes are drying. Jaina is still under the weather, but the drier air can only help.

After dinner last night we went for a walk and someone asked permission to be be photographed with Briana. She graciously accepted and shyly smiled into the camera. We have gotten used to people stopping to stare at us, motioning to us, making comments about us as we pass and so on. It's part of being foreigners and standing out, I guess. Thankfully more adoptive families with our agency are arriving next week and one more tour guide will be added to our group, so we will form a formidable little posse. We will be very happy to share some room in the fish bowl!

Jaina goes back and forth in her moods. She doesn't make very much eye contact yet, but I know that will come with time. She giggles and coos every now and then, particularly at dinnertime. Yep, looks like she'll fit into the our household just fine! Other times she is fussy and irritable and I don't know yet whether that is partly due to her cold or because she continues to grieve the big changes in her life. Perhaps it's a little bit of both. I can tell though that she seems comfortable with us. I am looking forward to bringing her home soon so that we can get her on a schedule. With all the adoption activities to do we have had to be at different places at different times with the baby, so she has been doing most of her napping en route. I never know how long we'll be gone so I take enough formula for the entire day with me.

I had forgotten how much baby paraphenalia goes into a baby bag. I always try to have enough diapers, wipes, bottles, extra changes of clothing, bibs, and so on to be prepared for a day out, but something always winds up left at the hotel. It's been a long time since I had a tiny baby in the house, so the time to switch gears has come. Last night Jaina had us up with her cough and overnight feedings and changings. Yes, we have a baby in the family again!

Today our tour guide took us sightseeing to a Buddhist Temple. Six Banyan Temple has a 1400 year history and houses three giant statues of Buddha, weighing 10 tons a piece. Outside is a beautiful pagoda which from its exterior looks to be about 9 stories high, but from the inside it is 17 stories. (I took my tour guide's word for it. I had no desire to climb to the top in the heat.) It was a magnificent shrine where people come to worship and leave offerings to bless their home and family. A monk blessed our children and I explained to Alina that the monk was blessing Jaina so that she would have a long and happy life with her new family. It had caused some confusion in some of the older siblings in the group and I explained to my kids that even though we were not Buddhists, having her blessed is a way of honoring her culture, which would always be a part of her.

Journey to Huizhou

Today we made our way to Huizhou City which is approximately 80 miles from Guangzhou. Our guide came by for us with a driver and we all piled into the mini bus. There are several of these small shuttles in the city and they are designed to carry several people at one time. I passed the time looking at the cars going by as well as taking in the exterior surroundings. (The only American car I saw was Buick, all others were Asian or European.)

The Chinese countryside is breathtaking. Gaungzhou is in a wooded mountainous region filled with farms and villages. As we made our way along the freeway I could see various fruits and vegetable crops. Rice and bananas are major exports. Jaina thankfully slept through most of the 2 and a half hour ride. (I hope she turns out to be one of those babies that enjoys napping on the go.) We finally arrived in Huizhou and our tour guide tells us that it is a smaller town than Guangzhou--no tourism, only factories. I am learning that all the numerous high rise apartments are housing for factory workers. Again, Huizhou is a city in various states of upkeep. The main boulevard is beautiful, lined with colorful bushes along the sides and palm trees down the middle. But behind that is the actual city--large, run down, densely populated and polluted. Ed and I both noted how hazy the skies were even during a sunny midafternoon day. It was the kind of day you expected to see blue skies, but can only see factory exhaust. 

  We arrived at Jaina's orphanage on an especially sweltering day. The sun was merciless and I saw many people using their umbrellas as parasols. We were admitted into the directors office and given small cups of hot water to cool us down. The girls wouldn't touch them but I drank mine down, not wanting to appear rude. Briana took a shine to the cups because they had Hello Kitty on them and brought them home as a souvenir. The little girl that had come to give us Jaina in Guangzhou was there and I was able to learn a little more about her. She was 14 years old and in the process of being adopted by a Chinese couple. It seems normal that the older orphans help in the care of the younger ones. One of the older girls who was especially fond of Jaina, and often looked after her, gave us a gift for her. I took a photo of them together and told her that I would place it in Jaina's scrapbook so that she would always know that she had good friends that loved her. I could sense that she was sad to see Jaina go and I promised that I would keep in touch with her and the orphanage of her progress.

There was unfortunately not much to see at the orphange as we were not allowed to enter the buildings nor photograph anywhere except in the director's office. We were allowed to take photographs of the exterior of the complex and we did that for Jaina. I didn't hear any babies and I only saw a few older children with special needs. Some of her caregivers did wave to us but did not come out and speak to us. Jaina seemed to recognize them all but was not interested in being held by them for very long. Already she had grown attached to us and made a fuss if she was out of mine or Ed's arms. I can't deny that it made me feel good. The biggest disappointment was not being able to visit the site where she was found. The town where she actually comes from was another hour away from her orphanage and, due to the upcoming Olympics and security being tightened, foreigners are not allowed to travel to certain places. To comes this far and not be able to see that was a major let down. I suppose I could have pressed our tour guide a little, but I could tell that it might have caused a problem. It is just not easy to go anywhere you desire or ask the questions you wish you could in a communist country. It is a shame though because I am doing it for Jaina. But, I know I can only do my best. Jaina is a little under the weather, but she is content and I am glad. She eats and sleeps well and once we kick her cold, she'll be in better spirits.

Good news, Jaina!  I learned that the big sister in the photo holding you also got adopted!  She is living in Indiana with her adoptive parents!  Here is the link of a newspaper article in case you want to read it.

https://timesuniononline.com/Content/Default/News/Article/Warsaw-Couple-Adopt-Teen-From-China/-3/224/44715   

China At a Glance

During our downtime in China we have gone for a lot of walks near our hotel. As a result we seem to attract a lot of unwanted attention from the locals, particularly Briana. They love to look at blonde children because it's not something they see all the time. They aren't shy about fussing over her either. At times we got so many stares that I now understand what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt feel like whenever they are photographed out with their kids. It is a total fish bowl.

Everyone is very polite, and take advantage to practice their English. People stop us just to talk, they ask where we're from, how long we'll stay and so on. Sometimes it's the shopkeepers wanting to reel us into their stores so they can get us to buy some cheeply made souvenir at an outrageous price. We try to steer clear of the high pressure salespeople, but it's not always easy. If you even go into one of those shops out of curiosity they follow you around the place hoping you'll buy something. But in Shamian Island the locals cater to the tourists as that is how they make their living.

Shamian Island is a sandbank given to the French and English during the 19th century to cultivate trade. As a result the buildings all are designed in the western style. The old French and British consulates were housed on the island and the French built a Roman Catholic church known as Our Lady of Lourdes, which is now closed and completely covered in bamboo scaffolding. I think the Chinese want the visiting tourists to thinks it is under renovation, but there is no one around doing any actual work. Religion is not encouraged in China and although the Catholic church operates in China, none of its clergy are actually appointed by the Vatican, but by the Chinese government.

The buildings around Shamian Island are in various states of upkeep which now house hotels, restaurants, tourists shops and a youth hostel. The streets are quite narrow, allowing only one car to get by in one direction and shared with pedestrians and bicycles. The park not only has a playground for children, but includes various adult exercise machines in bright colors to match the playground equipment. There is an ab machine, a leg curl machine, a glute machine as well as people who gather to do calisthenics, play badminton, or practice Tai Chi. Most of the Chinese people are in excellent shape and obesity is uncommon. Exercise and eating right is very important. Ed marveled at an old woman who could balance on one leg for an extended period of time. Years of Tai Chi had made her a master.

Everywhere we went we were greeted with smiles and hellos in English or Chinese. I learned to say hello in Chinese: "Ni hao". I picked up a book of Chinese phrases at a book shop at the White Swan hotel to help a little more, but I find that most people speak very good English. Some modestly bemoan their lack of skill but I assure them that they know more English than I do Chinese.

Our adoption facilitator and tour guide, Lucy, tells us that 80 percent of the items produced in China that goes to the U.S. are made in Guangzhou. There are huge factories and some employ as much as 10,000 people at a time. As a result, Guangzhou is quite run down and polluted. Transportation is mostly by taxi, bus and subway, but buses are preferred because subway fare is very expensive and the trains only go in two directions. Stop lights are nonexistant, as are seat belts and car seats. Lucy says that when you drive all you can do is close your eyes and go! The local police are an entity to be feared. Our driver made the mistake of traveling in the wrong direction of a one way road and was given a ticket. He looked scared when they pulled him over and we felt responsible because he had turned around to take us back to the hotel to retrieve a forgotten baby bottle.

Tomorrow we get to see what driving on the freeway is like as we make our way to our daughter's orphanage. I am sure it will be another adventure.

Smiles and Tears

Yesterday we headed back to the Civil Registry to finalize our adoption. Again the room was filled with people from all over the world waiting to pick up their children and answer the simple questions they ask: Why are you adopting a child from China? How old are you? What is the date of your marriage? Simple questions really except they seemed difficult to my dear husband. The hardest one: when were we married. He would answer hestitantly, afraid he might get it wrong and looking to me for assistance. I can only imagine what the interviewer must have thought. Yet even to me the moment seemed surreal. Here I have a baby in my arms and I can't hear very well what is being asked of me, nor make out the words due to my interviewer's heavy accent. I am trying to keep a bottle in Jaina's mouth and soothe her cries while politely trying to pay attention. The moment felt like an eternity but was over in a matter of minutes. A photograph was taken of us with Jaina and it was made official. She is ours! Jaina is our daughter from now until forever and, I am so happy, but at the same time sad that I will be taking her away from her homeland and that she won't have the opportunity to grow up among her people, knowing her language. 

I think of her birthmother often and wonder if she ever thinks about her, or if she has moved on. Her loss has become my gain and I thank her for making the choice to have placed her for adoption. She put her baby's well being first. 

A man stopped us today and told us that we were good hearted for doing this, but I don't feel like I deserve praise for wanting another child. I have always thought of adoption even before my biological girls were born. I am just glad God has given us the opportunity and made it a reality for us. 

 Throughout all of this, Briana was very clingy and whiny. She is feeling the loss of youngest child status and has been very teary, wanting Daddy to hold her, trying to grasp those last few straws of youngest baby perks before they're gone forever. But just as soon as this behavior appears, it is gone--once again replaced by the enthusiasm of having a little sister to play with. Alina has embraced her older sister status once again and thrives in it. Already she is telling me what Jaina likes best--how to hold her, what to do to soothe her when she cries. She is becoming a little Mommy. I tease her that since she has become such an expert at telling Mom what to do, her next task will be taking over diaper duty. I'll never forget the look on her face! 

 While Briana flip-flopped between her feelings of grief and elation, Jaina went from being consistently sad to occasionally cheerful. Yesterday she started giggling when the girls began playing peek-a-boo with her and doing whatever they could to make her smile. I finally saw the baby from the photographs. Jaina can be such a sad little thing. I can see that she is still sizing us up. She hasn't given herself freely just yet. She is waiting to see if we are worth it and I respect that. She is so small and frail. I feel like I have a newborn instead of a one year-old, but there are moments when she reminds me that she is not as helpless as a newborn. I have to put things that might hurt her out of her reach at the dinner table and when she has had enough to eat, she shakes her head. She doesn't just turn away, she shakes her head from side to side when she doesn't want anymore food. This afternoon we learned that she eats rice. When it came out she perked right up. I fed it to her with chopsticks and she loved it. After two days of formula and congee (watery rice cereal) she surprised me. 

 This afternoon we and another adoptive family from our agency were taken to get our daughters' adoption certificates. The photograph of the the three of us together taken at the Civil Registry the day before, was affixed to the certificate and sealed. It was an official document which we will cherish forever because it declares us an official family. Tomorrow, the day I have been looking forward to, finally arrives. We will be visiting her orphanage in Huizhou City--a three hour drive from Guangzhou. This is where her story begins and where I will compile the history to answer the tough questions 8 to 10 years from now. I am very nervous and I hope I can remember to ask the right questions for her sake.

We've Arrived!

We are finally in China! After a grueling 17 hour trip and major jet lag we finally arrived at our hotel last night at 9:30 pm. I have to marvel at how well our girls did on the trip. There were no meltdowns and very little fighting. I think they just accepted the fact that they were in for a long haul and settled in.

We left Albany at 6:oo am and traveled to Washington DC. We had a five hour layover ahead of us, which turned into six, when the search began for a fourth officer needed for take off. Our plane had already been at the gate when we arrived--a 747 with two stories. So, my girls hunkered down with new toys from Riverwood designed to give them hours of enjoyment and guarantee parents a headache-free travel experience.

When we finally boarded we proceeded to the very back of the plane, which was full. There was no hope of stretching out and those who were lucky enough to have a free seat next to them quickly claimed them for their tired feet. Laying in fetal position was all that is possible in two seats, but at least it's something! I had heads on my lap most of the flight and we looked like slumbering puppies, one on top of the other. A projector told us where we were in between movies and, as we neared Alaska, we could look down and see huge sheets of ice covering the sea. Alina hoped to catch a glimpse of a polar bear. We were over Siberia when most of us prepared to settle down and attempted to sleep. In between cat naps we slowly approached Tokyo and then mainland China.

We caught sight of the mountains outside of Beijing and we regretted not having time to stay and see the Great Wall, stretching below us as far as the eyes could see, and the Forbidden City. Next time, perhaps. We were on a mission and understood that there was nothing more important than that. We were exhausted, giddy and jetlagged. I wasn't up to complex thinking and was not capable of finishing a sentence. How we even got to our connecting flight is still a mystery. All I know is that I found myself on another plane bound for Guangzhou and after a meal of Chinese style chicken and rice and some watery stuff passing off for jello, I tried to sleep. I must have succeeded because the three hour flight did not seem as long.

Guangzhou is a huge city of over 10 million people--larger even than New York City. Our tour guide told us that Guangzhou is one of the three largest cities in China, sharing the top spots with Shanghai and Beijing. What I noticed right off the bat was how much younger the populations is. I have never seen so many young people! Most of them were 20 somethings and all working in every kind of job imaginable. Even the transit workers wore flight attendant type uniforms and greeted us with a smile. I started to worry about being one of the few older temporary inhabitants, but soon breathed a sigh of relief when I started to see more parents and a few bald heads around--not counting Ed!

We walked over to the White Swan Hotel this morning and saw the famous indoor waterfall. There is a small pond full of brightly colored fish and beautiful foliage. It provided a cool and welcoming contrast to the hot humidity outside.

Then we walked in the park near the Victory Hotel where we enjoyed of the statues. Many represented different aspects of Chinese society's history. One sticks out in my mind of three women, one dressed in traditional chinese garb with the mandarin collar and cropped pants; another wears a transitional costume--a snug fitting dress with a mandarin collar; and the third is completely modern with a skin tight tank top, short shorts and high heels. I guess the statue is representative of China's move towards a less traditional society, modernism, and a better economy.

After lunch we got ready to head out and get our daughter. Many people call it "Gotcha Day"--not my favorite term but still representative of what was going to happen. Our guide took us and another family, back for their second adoption, to the Adoption Registry Center to get our children. They had been brought from their respective cities to join us there. The room was pandemonium. It was full of noise, crying children and waiting families. As we waited for our child, who still hadn't arrived, I began to grow increasingly nervous. The kind of nervousness that forces me to the ladies room. My stomach was in knots and I laughed at myself because I was calm during the entire flight over, and here I was feeling like flying saucers had invaded my belly.

After about a 30 minute wait--the little stinker wanted to make a grand entrance--she arrived held by her caregiver and a young girl of no more than 12. Jaina was very quiet at first, but when she realized that she was about to be left with a bunch of strangers, she started to cry. Ooh, the sobs! I knew this would probably happen and I was prepared for it. I also had prepared the girls for initial rejection. They were so patient and still wanted to be the first in holding her after I did. Briana stroked her head and kissed the top of it. Alina smiled at her, hopeful that Jaina would eventually look at her and smile. An hour later she did. We took photographs of the caregivers, thanked them for being a part of her first year and left. Jaina, who had been crying on and off during the registration, fell asleep in the car. I rocked her gently, kissed the top of her head and hummed lullabies in her ear. Back in our hotel room we gave her a bottle of formula, changed her into new clothes and then she played with her big sisters. She cooed and giggled at them and hit it right off, as I knew they would. A half hour later she fell asleep and is so still three hours later.

Our day is over and our little girl is now with us. She is everything I dreamed she would be and more precious than words could ever express. I am thankful for the gift of her and glad to be able to share my experiences with you as they unfold.

Preparations

Timeline of Events:

Paper Chase Begins: Jan 2006
Dossier to China: 7/27/2006
Login Date: 8/7/2006
Referral: 5/5/2008
Letter of Intent: approx. 5/8/2008
Preapproval: 5/21/2008
Letter of Acceptance: 5/21/2008
Permission to Travel: 6/19/2008
Travel Dates: 7/12/2008-7/25/2008


It just hit me yesterday that I am less than one week away from seeing my daughter! I can't believe it. I have dreamed of this moment for two and a half years. I often wondered why it took so long to get her, why we waited so long and now I know. We had to wait for her to be born. God chose this child for us and tied that red thread from her toe to my finger. I am reeling her in bit by bit. What absolute joy to hold her in my arms it will be. What blessings she will bring us.


During the long wait I voraciously read anything about adoption I could get my hands on. I came across a book called "Cross-Cultural Adoption". It gives adoptive parents advice on how to answer common questions from friends, family and strangers about your baby. Some examples are, "Where does she come from? Is she really yours? How much did she cost? Why China and not your own country?" I think non adoptive parents might find the book useful in answering their own children's questions as well.

I am lucky to live in a small town full of adoptive families, so people have been very supportive of our decision to adopt. I am happy that Jaina will not be alone and that there are many other children from Asia that she will be able to identify with. Best of all, she gets to live in a great place far enough from the big city to make her relatively safe, but full of culture and history. The warmest people I know live up here and she will make plenty of wonderful friendships. There are already so many people that are anticipating her arrival with much excitement. Indeed she will bring us so much joy and I am anxious to show her off!

Packing, packing, packing...

I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am trying to religiously follow the list of things to pack given by my well-meaning adoption agency, but after all the things they recommend I pack, they say to pack light. Huh?? Right now I keep wondering if certain things are worth taking or not. Do I need this, should I not take that? Do I really need that extra roll of toilet paper?? (My husband, Ed says, that it would be a good idea just in case they run out on the plane.) I wish I could have Scotty beam me into China so I can skip the flight all together. I am not looking forward to the brutal 13 and a half hour flight, followed by a three hour layover in Beijing and another 3 hour flight to Guangzhou. We will be arriving at 9pm and I believe we might get our daughter the next day. I pray that I get a good night's sleep to greet her with smile on my face. She'll be crying enough for the both of us.